. Welcome to the new DU for.....
, replacing an older edition that first came out in 2008. Given the increasing popularity of P-J Comix's most excellent DUmmie FUnnies
, the Best/Worst of DU
forum on conservativeunderground, and the DUmpster
and DUmping Ground
here at conservativecave, it is important that such a guide to watching the DUmmies in DUmmieland be up-to-date in time for the coming mid-term elections.
One supposes the first question is, why bother watching the DUmmies, as compared with watching paint dry or changing the air in the tires on the automobile?
There are several good reasons for watching the DUmmies, the first being that DUmmieland is after all a news message-board, and one is always curious for news.
And then watching the DUmmies, who represent the Democrat party and the liberal viewpoints, gives one an insight in "opposition" research; what the other side is up to. Tied in with this reason for watching the DUmmies is that of "quality controlling" the DUmmies--examining and testing the DUmmies to be sure they are what they allege themselves to be; open-minded, tolerant, socially conscious, honest, respectful of diversity, those sorts of virtues.
For the record, it needs stated that in nearly nine years of the existence of DUmmieland, no DUmmie at any time has ever met, much less exceeded, any standards the DUmmies they themselves have set as being particularly enlightened or illuminating.
Perhaps, however, the most popular reason for watching the DUmmies is simply for sheer entertainment, as DUmmieland can sometime be funnier than the comics-strips in the daily newspaper, or a half-hour television comedy.
For a select minority of DUmmie-watchers, DUmmieland is a rich field for scientific research into matters anthropological, sociological, and psychological.Terminology
. "DUmmie" and "DUmmieland" are the widely-used names for the primitives on Skins's island; "primitive" and "Skins's island" tend to be favored by those more interested in the scientific aspects of DUmmies and DUmmieland, rather than in their comedy relief.
"DUmmie" and "primitive" are interchangeable, and one uses the term with which one is most comfortable using. "DUmmieland' and "Skins's island" likewise.
Despite this interchangeability, there are subtle differences in meaning.
For those who see the primitives as silly or stupid or ridiculous or laughable, "DUmmie" fills the bill. For those who see the DUmmies as coarse cruel savage barbaric beasts, "primitive" works best.
"DUmmieland" reminds one of a wockenkuckenkuckensheim
, a cloud-cuckooland where all is fantastically unreal. "Skins's island" reminds one of a remote patch in the middle of a vast ocean, far isolated from the real world, the rest of the world.
But at all times, there is no "rule" about usage of these terms; one simply uses those one is most comfortable using.
In addition to general terminology, there are some who refer to particular DUmmies by names other than the DUmmies' actual screen-names. This is because the DUmmies are singularly lacking in imagination and taste, and usually have screen-names utterly inappropriate for themselves.
Some of these re-baptismals are obvious--"my fellow alum Skins" for "Skinner," for example--and some not so obvious--"Pedro Picasso" for "Atman," for an example.
If one is confused about these multitudes of more-appropriate names, it is considered utterly acceptable to ask the DUmmie observer using a particular name for its origin, and the "official" name of the DUmmie.The history of DUmmieland
. DUmmieland, or Skins's island, was founded in late January 2001, after Alphonse Capote Gore had tried to steal Florida, and failed. DUmmieland was a joint creation of both the Democrat Leadership Council (DLC) and my fellow alum Skins, "Skinner."
Having ascertained that the Democrats had lost the presidential election of 2000 because of the nuttier fringe elements in the Democrat party turning off decent and civilized people, it was decided that while it was not wise to disavow such supporters of the Democrat party and Democrats, it was a good idea to hide them away from the public view, so as to not offend.
Stash the DUmmies into the attic, so to say.
And hence the purpose of Dummieland, Skins's island: to identify, attract, and segregate the wilder, more rabid, elements into one central place far away from sight of the real world.The structure of DUmmieland
. DUmmieland, or Skins's island, is owned by a private entity whose composition has always been vague, other than that my fellow alum Skins, "Skinner," is the boss of the firm.
My fellow alum is assisted by two known others, "EarlG," or Lord Marblehead, and "Elad," or the elusive enigmatic one. It is probable that a "board of directors" exists, perhaps someone representing the DLC, so as to provide guidance to the "executive board."
Below the owners and employees of DUmmieland are moderators. Unlike most message boards, the moderators are not allowed to make individual on-the-spot decisions about things (deleting a post, moving a post); it instead being "moderation by consensus."
The hoi polloi
, the unterprimitiven
, the DUmmies or primitives themselves, can be roughly separated into seven different categories (or tiers of primitivity), but for the casual observer of the DUmmies, it is not useful to describe those categories in this guide; there will later be given out a scientific analysis of Skins's island dealing with that sociological minutae.Tools for watching the DUmmies
. The easiest way to watch the DUmmies, or primitives, in their natural state is simply by going to DUmmieland itself; alas, no link is provided here because my fellow alum might have a cow about it.
One can of course actually register to become a member of DUmmieland, but caution--not just anyone can get onto Skins's island. The owners keep a close eye on newcomers, and at the slightest whiff of mischiefery, pfft! one is gone.
Most decent and civilized people however prefer to view DUmmieland and the DUmmies through the "filter" of forums less amenable to coarse language and other brutalities. Such forums also allow decent and civilized people to make comments and remarks about the antics and Gross Barbarities of the DUmmies.
The oldest such forum is http://www.conservativeunderground.com/
. This site deals with topics other than simply DUmmieland, and one has to go to the Best/Worst of DU
category, to find the primitives and others' observations of them.
The most famous such forums is undeniably http://dummiefunnies.blogspot.com/
, the world-famous DUmmie FUnnies
by the remarkably talented and witty P-J Comix, accompanied by the equally gifted Charles Henrickson and Paul Heinzman.
However, most read the DUmmie FUnnies
, a part of freerepublic, one of the oldest and certainly the largest political forum on the internet. There are a great many things posted in the bloggers' forum there, and so one has to look for the DUmmie FUnnies
, but it is well worth it, given the cornucopia of reader responses.
Finally, there are the DUmpster
, and the DUmping Ground
, here on conservativecave. The Dumpster
is the general forum for being amused by the DUmmies, or analyzing the primitives; the DUmping Ground
, much smaller, is sort of an "encyclopedia" of DUmmieland and the DUmmies.