managerial situation

[franksolich]

A friend from a long time ago--just before the turn of the century--came up here to the Sandhills of Nebraska today, and we spent a long time reminiscencing about the Good Old Days of Reagan, Bush, Gingrich, and Bush, and speculating about when the 0bamareich's going to come crashing down.

He reminded me of something I long ago had forgotten, and having been reminded of it, an old question recrudesces to the surface.  Where did I go wrong?

Back then, just before the turn of the century, I was records supervisor for a private contractor to Immigration & Naturalization, in Lincoln.  There were usually 12-24 file clerks under my direction, sometimes a few more, but as they knew what they were doing, and going a great job, I mostly ignored them and "file searches" for persons of "interest" to Immigration & Naturalization, the Internal Revenue Service, the Federal Bureau of Investigation, whatnot.

And so it took a while--a few months--before I was aware that a guy working under my supervision was openly and profligately mocking me behind my back.

I'm an easy person to mock and ridicule; being deaf, I don't hear anything.  But this guy wasn't constantly making fun of my deafness (which is disguised anyway, with long hair), but rather of my voice, which is as flat and shallow and broad as the Platte River.

The guy was an excellent mimic, and had once been a radio disc-jockey, until one night when he went bonkers and was sent away to the state insane asylum for a while.

After I became aware of it, I resolved to ignore it with cold silence, which I did.

I of course did his work evaluations, and being professional about it, gave him ratings he usually warranted; an above-average quality of work.  After all, it was the work that was important, not his personal estimation of me.

As the months went on, it got to where while I was ignoring it, everybody else was noticing it, and complaining to my own boss that this guy was doing this, and I wasn't doing anything about it, other than ignoring it with cold silence.

Finally, one day my boss pulled me into her office, and after ascertaining I did in fact know what was going on, asked me in vexation why I was doing nothing about it.  I told her I had been doing something about it; the best rebuke to a rude person is cold silence.

I should point out that my "cold silence" is palpable; others can see it, feel it, and no one who has ever endured it has wanted to endure it again.

My boss told me that was the "wrong" resolution.

However, she never got around to telling me what the "right" resolution might be.

What did I do wrong?

----------

There is a sequel to this, although it's not part of my question.

The same guy had been stalking a female supervisor, which was ultimately brought to the attention of law-enforcement, who came in one day, cuffed him, and took him away.  Since the prosecutor wanted to throw everything including the kitchen sink at the guy, his mockery of me was part of the long complaint, although I had nothing to do with it.  The guy was found "guilty," and sent away to the state insane asylum for two years.

[rich_t]

Frank,

I'd have pulled him into the office and informed him in no uncertain terms that his conduct was unprofessional and would not be tolerated.  I would have further informed him that repeated unprofesssional conduct would be cause for dismissal (if you had that option as his supervisor).

[franksolich]

An excerpt of this posted at

http://www.freerepublic.c...chat/2314677/posts?page=1

if anyone wishes to see additional reader comments, if any gotten.

[franksolich]

Frank,

I'd have pulled him into the office and informed him in no uncertain terms that his conduct was unprofessional and would not be tolerated.  I would have further informed him that repeated unprofesssional conduct would be cause for dismissal (if you had that option as his supervisor).

I'm not sure what "authority" I had; this private contractor was micro-managed by touchy-feely women.  I do know that at least I could have had him transferred to another supervisor (unaware at the time he was stalking the woman supervisor).

My attitude about it was that his work, and not his opinion of me, was the important detail here, and yes, he did good work.  I mean, this was hardly the first time I had ever had to deal with something like this, and cold silence had always worked before.

I've had other supervisory jobs since then, but I could never fire anyone just because he didn't like me.  I had always been under the impression that truly professional managers don't let personal issues get in the way of keeping a person who does a good job.

[Schadenfreude]

If you look at it from an operant conditioning perspective, you did exactly the right thing by ignoring the undesirable behavior... the only thing that perhaps was missing was rewarding desirable behavior, then again maybe he had no redeeming qualities. The other problem I see is that it was likely disruptive to the other workers and it probably undermined your authority to some extent because he was allowed to be disrespectful. In the end I believe your supervisor wanted you to either get him to stop or fire him.   

[franksolich]

The other problem I see is that it was likely disruptive to the other workers and it probably undermined your authority to some extent because he was allowed to be disrespectful.

I should have added something explaining the employees went to my boss because they were concerned I wasn't seeing it.  I suffered no lack of respect from them.

In the end I believe your supervisor wanted you to either get him to stop or fire him.

Well then, she should have told me that.

[FGL]

Sounds more like a firing offense than a criminal offense. Just my opinion.

[franksolich]

Sounds more like a firing offense than a criminal offense. Just my opinion.

Unbeknownst to me--but apparently known to everybody else--he was physically stalking the woman supervisor; out in the parking lot, around her home, &c.

[Eupher]

I agree with rich_t, Frank.

Pulling him into the office and letting him know that his behavior, (not his work) was unacceptable was the appropriate thing to do. Displaying mockery or disrespect is disruptive and creates a negative work environment.

While I'm a firm believer in the old adage that respect is earned and not to be demanded, showing disrespect or ridicule in the fashion that he was doing it could very well have undermined your authority to some level. That it apparently didn't is a good thing and speaks well of you, but disrespect must be addressed.

Cold silence may be effective between co-workers, but you were not this person's co-worker.

I think it's telling that your subordinates let it be known that this guy was pulling this crap. I see two things occurring there - one, that they wanted you to know that it was going on so that you could address it, and two, that they could watch precisely how you were going to handle it.

Your own supervisor may not have gotten around to actually telling you what she thought you should do, what with all the drama with the stalking and the handcuffs and all.

[rich_t]

I agree with rich_t, Frank.

Pulling him into the office and letting him know that his behavior, (not his work) was unacceptable was the appropriate thing to do. Displaying mockery or disrespect is disruptive and creates a negative work environment.

While I'm a firm believer in the old adage that respect is earned and not to be demanded, showing disrespect or ridicule in the fashion that he was doing it could very well have undermined your authority to some level. That it apparently didn't is a good thing and speaks well of you, but disrespect must be addressed.

Cold silence may be effective between co-workers, but you were not this person's co-worker.

I think it's telling that your subordinates let it be known that this guy was pulling this crap. I see two things occurring there - one, that they wanted you to know that it was going on so that you could address it, and two, that they could watch precisely how you were going to handle it.

Your own supervisor may not have gotten around to actually telling you what she thought you should do, what with all the drama with the stalking and the handcuffs and all.

That is the reasoning behind my post Eupher.  I feel the same way about supervisors that mock subordinates behind their back.  I simply don't tolerate it either way.  Do you think it is our military background that makes us look at it the way we do?

[Eupher]

That is the reasoning behind my post Eupher.  I feel the same way about supervisors that mock subordinates behind their back.  I simply don't tolerate it either way.  Do you think it is our military background that makes us look at it the way we do?

No, I think this is something that is routinely covered even among civilians. The difference is, you and I might've called the punk out in front of his friends just to embarrass him, while the civilians prefer a much softer approach.

Either way, it's got to be addressed. The simpler, the better. And for the record, I don't manage people by embarrassing them. I probably was guilty of that kind of approach long, long ago, but I've since learned. And adjusted.

I work with civilians anymore. 

[FGL]

Unbeknownst to me--but apparently known to everybody else--he was physically stalking the woman supervisor; out in the parking lot, around her home, &c.

Thats definitely an issue for the cops and courts of course

[rich_t]

The difference is, you and I might've called the punk out in front of his friends just to embarrass him, while the civilians prefer a much softer approach.

I have to admit that I did that on rare occassions.  It usually happened after more subtle attempts with a subordinate wasn't working.

[franksolich]

There are a few at freerepublic who seem to think this bothers me, and to move on, but the question long ago's been only of academic interest, when I recall the incident.

This was a private contractor to Immigration & Naturalization, no such thing as a "human resources" division in it.  Top management (the level immediately above myself) was "human resources".

It was a Kafkaesque situation, the place being run on caprice and whim, and usually the caprice and whim of insecure women too far over their heads.  My own direct boss, for example, had been a hair-dresser.  No disparagement of cosmetologists--no way--but we know how some of them can be.

There were various "teams" (damn, I dislike that word); as with all other supervisors, I had started out with 12 members, and when I left two years later, I had 27, the original 12 still there; of all the "teams," the one with non-existent turnover, near-non-existent absenteeism, the highest quality and quantity ratings.  There were about 400 employees altogether; I dunno if that's "big" or "little", in private contractorship.

Not in this job, but in others, I was aware of supervisors harassing those on a lower level, and those on a lower level harrassing their peers.  It didn't happen often, but it did happen.  Such of course is intolerable.  In instances like this, basically I yelled-and-screamed about it, and in all cases it was remedied, but whether through my own efforts, or something else, is too murky to discern.

As for "harrassment" of myself by someone under me, I suppose if I had known this other supervisor was having problems with the guy, I would have reacted differently, but of course I was not aware of that until after the fact.

If the same were to happen again, I supposed I would handle it in exactly the same way I did back then, excepting I would discreetly ask more questions about the individual involved, to find out if there were any peculiar circumstances, something I did not do in this case, naturally and routinely assuming the guy was sane like everybody else.

I suppose it depends upon the person applying it, but cold silence can be effective; as far as I know, this was the only instance in all of my own experiences that it didn't work.

[bcsco]

Well then, she should have told me that.

I suspect she wanted you to infer her meaning. That way she's out of the loop, and it's your responsibility...